I think that embedded in all of our hearts is a desire for certainty. It may seem in vain to have this desire because what aspects of life are certain? Although uncertainty is true for this life, it is not true for God, and a having a misplaced source to fill this desire for certainty will only cause us to experience heightened insecurities, doubts, fears, and emptiness. The control over our lives that we seek to have results only in an increased deficit of control, which is the opposite of what we are seeking. I know this to be true because I have been there and will admit to being a first-hand witness.
I sought after this control over my life. I thought I was grabbing a good dose of certainty and direction when I went off to college for the first time. I went as far from home as I could go without leaving the state. I was going to fix my life and things were about to get better for me, so I thought. I was going to make a big turnaround and finally do things the right way, but the, “do things right” part was short lived- if ever lived at all.
This pursuit only left me empty and lost. My insecurities continued to grow with each passing day. There were moments when I attempted to pray that God would intervene and change my heart and life. I knew that I was stuck in a life and rhythm of doing things my way, and even though its results only offered more emptiness, I struggled with wanting to leave it. Months later, God did answer those halfhearted prayers. He flooded my heart with conviction and brokenness. I experienced His presence for the first time in a way that is truly indescribable. It’s what happened next though that really surprised me. That day, God called me to leave that college and go back home. Upon that call, so many questions filled my mind. How could I quit college in the middle of spring semester? What would my parents say? What would people think? Is this really the right thing to do? As God’s heavy urge to simply “go home” grew louder, the questions began to fade away. That day I withdrew from that school and took my first step towards true certainty even though I didn’t know what would lie ahead of me and so many of my questions were still left unanswered.
Our insecurities and uncertainties about life and all that it beholds will always be trumped and silenced by God’s call; but this is only true if we choose to obey His call. Obedience to God, whether or not we understand all the aspects of the “where and why” He is leading us a certain way, solves a lot of our problems.
Honestly, it was gut-wrenching to go from “my way” to “His way”. In the end, the control I thought I had, and the ability to self-fix only served to keep me enslaved to emptiness, disappointment, and heart ache. Sometimes we seek out this grand formula to follow and if we can’t find one, we create our own.
The plan for us to follow though is simple- it’s simply surrender. Surrendering to God’s call and walking in obedience to Him was the first plan He had in place, and abandoning it the Garden of Eden is where all the trouble began. Obedience to God solves the true root of our problems, and it will always provide us with the certainty we long for.
Red Sea Moments
The crack of brokenness continued to grow far and wide, much like a spider web, as continued pressures were applied to the surface. I looked at my clay vase with great disappointment after I had dropped it and saw the long crack that was left behind. I learned the degree of frailty that was inflicted upon my cracked vase after dusting one day. I sat it down on the carpeted floor, in order to clear off a surface to dust, and it toppled over. As I lifted the fallen vase, I saw that the crack had grown, only increasing its frailty.
Surprisingly, more than ten years later, I still have that broken vase, and it now sits on our mantle. When I see its cracks, I don’t see an eye sore, but rather a story. The story I see begins with brokenness, a brokenness that seemed to continue to grow, but the story doesn’t stop there. Instead, I look at the vase with a grateful smile because I am reminded of a story that was rerouted due to God’s great intervention and answered prayers. These stories, these moments in life that God gives us, are the ones that I refer to as “Red Sea Moments.”
When I met my husband more than 15 years ago, I looked much like that broken vase, whose cracks seemed to grow with any and every applied pressure. I was so guarded when I met him, and I didn’t want to let someone else into my life that would add to my pain. Much to my surprise, the opposite would be true of letting him in. All the prayers that I had prayed for much of my life- for an unbroken family, for a place of wholeness, for a place where I would be free from choosing between my parents, and for a place where each choice I made wouldn’t cause the broken places in my life to grow and spread- these pleas were suddenly being answered and tremendous mending was beginning to take place. I was experiencing a true Red Sea moment, a moment where a way that only God could provide was being opened up before me.
The more time my husband and I spent together, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was broken and needed healing. While we were still dating, I finally opened up and shared with him how I had prayed fervently from a very young age to have a family of my own that was whole and complete, free from the harm of brokenness. At that moment of me sharing that with him, his eyes met mine, and he then revealed that he too had been praying for the exact same thing from a very young age. Our broken places were so similar and God had graciously brought our hearts together. Our longings were the same and, therefore, what we would cherish would be the same as well.
The roads that we had both traveled were very broken, but as the song goes, “God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.” My husband and I did not meet each other by chance or coincidence. No, it was an intentional answered prayer for both of us that we had both been uttering before the Lord long before we even knew one another. It was a pathway, a Red Sea moment that had been opened up by God for us both.
Although the vase bares the marks of brokenness, it is still held together for a couple of reasons. The first being that we knew that its strength was already compromised so we have had to continue to handle it with extreme, intentional care. Next, we didn’t leave the cracks as they were. We bought a clear bonding to put in the cracks to help hold what was broken together. And so it was with God as He was seeking to handle and heal both of our lives, bonding all those broken places.
As I look into the faces of those who make up the family I have now, and I look up at the mantle and see the broken vase that has now been mended, I reminded of how I am living each day in an answered prayer. God intervened and rerouted our life story by providing us with a Red Sea moment!
I haven’t always felt this way about my life story though. For a long time I battled with having resentment, bitterness, and feeling short changed over the reality of the first half of my life not being what I wanted it to be. As time has gone on, God has allowed me to see His grand work in my life on a magnified level. I have learned to be thankful for the perspective of my past, while also being thankful that it is not today’s reality. I have learned to be thankful for both sides of my story because without both parts, I would not cherish the grand entrance of God’s miraculous work in my life.
The fact that the Israelites were standing with their toes to a vast body of water as a powerful army was moving in with no place of escape, only makes the splitting of the Red Sea much more powerful and purposeful. You see God intervene in a mighty way, providing a way where there was no way, and changed their life story.
God intervenes in mighty ways, providing a way where there is no way, and changes our life story!
These stories are powerful testimonies of God’s present day work in our lives, but the greatest Red Sea moment that God has provided for us all is the empty tomb! Jesus dying and coming to life again is the greatest Red Sea moment that any of us can experience. It’s an experience that allows us to be thankful for both sides of the story- before Jesus and after Jesus- because knowing both sides of the story allows us to know, understand, and cherish God making the one, true way for us!
Happy Resurrection Sunday!!
As Jesus gave up His spirit, the curtain in the temple was suddenly torn in two! The speration between God and man was now removed!! Jesus’ great act still lives on today, more than 2,000 years later, offering true life for all who believe! We have so much to celebrate!!
Because He Will Save!
Matthew 1:21 “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
This is a verse that I have read and I have heard read many times, yet it is one that has never captured my full attention like it now does today. Today, as I read these words, the meaning is much more intimate. As I read this verse, I read it as one that is declaring a new, daily reality that God longs for us to live in, and not one that is attached to a story told only at Christmas time. When we read, “… he will save his people from their sins,” it’s a great proclamation of what God was going to and then fulfill for those of us in Christ- you and me! We are His people, the ones that Jesus was coming to save! As I read this verse, I see an immeasurable love that was prompted by a great act of mercy and grace to come and to rescue. What a beautiful hope-filled reality!
God spoke, acted, promised, and fulfilled!
Jesus died, but He defeated death! He completely fulfilled His life’s mission to save us from our sins. “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19) God spoke, acted, promised, and fulfilled!
Just imagine our Savior, who came down to breathe life into us and make us new! How gracious God is to take our “mustard seed” of faith and graciously multiply it into something great like saving faith!! What a gift! Jesus truly is the giver of life and in Him is all victory because He came and saved His people from their sins!
Could We Be on Our Damascus Road?
Could it be that we are on our road to Damascus? The road in which the plans that were made by man have been intervened by God? Could it be that we are on the path of God’s mercy and grace? Sure, it doesn’t ‘feel’ like a gracious and merciful one, but could it be that is where we all find ourselves today?
On the road to Damascus, Saul, who later became Paul, was on his way to fulfill his own plans to persecute and kill Christians. Yes, he had made his plans, but God “brick walled” them, causing them to come to a screeching halt. Instead, Saul found himself knocked off his donkey and suddenly blind. His sudden blindness would be a means that God would use to give him true sight. It would be a means of God bestowing upon him true mercy and grace. It would be a means in which God crippled Saul so that he could look past himself to see and acknowledge God. Saul was finally moved from a position of leading others, to being led himself, and ultimately being led to the Savior.
Looking back, I can see how important my schedule and my plans have been to me. I keep a purse sized calendar with me most of the time and I looked at it constantly. I feel like I lived by the calendar! I look back and see how easily our time was filled, but now all of those things, what was deemed as high priority, have been taken away. My plans, my schedule has been “brick walled” by COVID-19, and everything has come to a screeching halt.
Saul had his own vision and plans that he sought to carry out, but they were not the plans of the Lord. The Lord instead, had plans to make Saul His “chosen instrument to carry His name before the Gentiles.” (Acts 9:15) And could it be that we also have made our own plans that we have sought to carry out that were not the plans of the Lord?
God took what was important to Saul- his sight and his plans, but God took them away only to give both of them back to him completely restored. He gave Saul new sight and new plans. The plans of man are many, but it is the plans of the Lord that will always prevail (Proverbs 19:21).
During this time, could it be that we are also on our Damascus road? Is this a time where God has put us in a place where we are to stop leading our own lives, allowing Him to lead and us follow? Could it be that all that we feel that has been taken away from us is really a means in which God desires to give them back to us completely restored and made completely new?
“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have ever lasting life.” John 3:16 beautifully depicts God taking our broken world, “brick walling” the plans of sin, and giving a perfect means for complete restoration! God is good at making all things new!
God wants Our Hearts
Painful Memories Accompanied by the Light, are Beautiful Stories
Sometimes the memories, the feelings, and hurts from the past come back. Sometimes they come back in full force seeking to define me once again. The memory of being that one person that was neither seen nor heard by those around me, the memory of being unworthy and not ever find my place of acceptance floods my heart and mind. I can feel the brokenness and insignificance all over again, and my mind’s memory of it all is so vivid. You think that you have left certain parts of your life far behind you, and then you realize that some of it still lingers, still being carried along with you in your heart and mind. It’s the memory of painful truths, that even the distance that time provides cannot completely remove.
As hard as some of the memories can be, the darkness of them only seem to accentuate the majesty and glory of God’s light streaming into my life. I still remember the many nights as a child, a young teen, and a young adult, knelt beside my bed praying, crying in anguish and feeling alone. Although I felt alone, with a heart full of sorrow that nobody understood, I realized that God was present during every moment, wiping away every tear, and hearing every broken word that was uttered before Him. God saw me, He heard me, He was there with me, He answered me, and He provided me with a firm place for my feet to stand upon.
A dark, painful memory flooded by the Light ends up being a beautiful story!
Because of the hard moments, I learned to cherish God’s love, grace, forgiveness, presence, and the many answered prayers He has blessed me with. I learned that He gives hope to the hopeless, that He turns mourning into dancing, and I learned that there really is power in prayer. Sometimes my mind remembers those dark, hopeless nights, but now, instead of just darkness, I also see a very bright light, and we all know what light does to darkness don’t we?
When light is present, it becomes the focus. Let God’s light shine upon you and let it be the focus of your heart and mind! As a star shines radiantly against the dark night sky, so will the Lord’s presence also be for you and for me!
A dark, painful memory flooded by the Light ends up being a beautiful story! Don’t give up hope! God is doing great and beautiful things here and now!
Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him.
“I Have Panicked and Let it Show!”
“I feel panicked and I have let it show!”
Maybe that describes you right now!
Maybe you are feeling guilty that the faith you have in God hasn’t suppressed that feeling enough to keep the panic and fear from rising to the surface.
If this is you, I want to encourage you to lay aside shame and guilt that the enemy would love to bury you under. If you claim to have faith in God but also have showed panic, fear, and concern it’s okay!
In our humanity, as we face days that feel quite uncertain and we experience the emotion panic and fear, you have not blown your testimony to the world.
Instead, it’s an opportunity to show ourselves authentically to others and show what to do in our weakness! When we are fearful, we have an opportunity to run to God for answers, renewed strength, rest for our hearts and minds, and unwaivering hope for the days ahead.
If you have panicked and let it show, you have not failed. Instead, use it as an opportunity to point others to the remedy! God is sure to supply all of our needs in Christ Jesus! (Philippians 4:19)
Highlighting the hope that we have in Christ! 